Het internet staat boordevol goede, grappige, maar ook vooral rare verhalen van mensen die anoniem hun ervaringen kunnen delen met de rest van de wereld. Dat anonieme gedeelte zorgt vaak voor onthullingen die niet gemaakt zouden worden als ze met naam en toenaam moesten typen. Voor ons natuurlijk wel vermakelijk. Op een forum van Reddit kunnen gebruikers helemaal los gaan op de vraag: ‘What was the weirdest sexual act ever performed on you.’ De antwoorden liegen er niet om… maar goed, niemand weet of het de waarheid is:

SaturnzIII:
My ex-gf gave me a shrimp cocktail bj. She didn’t like giving bj’s but she liked shrimp so somehow in her head combine the two and she would like giving a blowjob. I was pretty desperate for a bj so there I am in a quality inn on a Saturday with shrimp along the length of my dick, hanging off like hangers on a clothing rack. She ate the shrimp while giving me a bj. She said she enjoyed it. I struggled to make sense of it all. I did finish though. 7/10 would shrimp again.

Mikeytruant850:
I didn’t have time to say stop, not that I would have even if I knew what she was planning. I was getting a blow job and she told me to tell her when I was about to cum. I figured she just didn’t like cum in her mouth and was a little disappointed but I get it. So when the moment arrived and I was as close to exploding as possible, I manged to warn her that I was about to cum and she – no joke – puts the tip of my dick into one of her nostrils, plugs the other side, and snorted my load as if it was a big line of cocaine. It was one of those full lung inhales too like where you’re trying to clear your sinuses when you’re congested or something; she got every last drop. I’m rarely speechless but I was then and she said nothing of it. I zipped up and went right back to partying. If I could do it all over, I’d ask if that was something she did on the regular and if she enjoyed it or if was supposed to turn the guy on or what. Now I’ll never know.

dab-da710:
This is a bit of a long story but stick with me. I was out and about on the town and had a long night of whiskey neats. My friends and I decided to stop and eat at local pizza place that stays open till 2 a.m. We’re sitting drunk as fuck eating away at the four pizzas we ordered between the three of us, and I see this cute girl staring at me. She had short brown hair, amazingly bright green eyes, make up that almost gave her a cat like appearance.(hold on to that). So I approach her introduce my self to her and find out her name is, lets say “Selina”. I end up getting Selina to come back to my table and introduce her to the guys. About five minuets later shes rubbing my cock under the table and she was just about as drunk as I was. So I’m thinking to my self alright I’m taking her home, and I get up to tell my friends who, obviously knew what was going on by there giggles and looks my way, that I was leaving with Selina. So me and her get to my apartment and i notice on the walk home she almost making a noise like she was purring, but fuck she was hot. so about half an hour later, i’m ball deep giving it to her and I told her was about to cum so I pulled out, and she went down and gave me head to finish me off. I cum in her mouth, I’m laying down next thing I know Selina spits my cum in to my belly button and started to lick it out and meowed like a cat while doing it. I had no idea what to do in my drunken stupor so i meowed back.

Biffmcgee:
I had a blowjob so good from some girl that it made me start crying. I have no idea what the fuck she did with her hands, tongue, jaw, blowing bubbles, humming. She literally took every single internet tip and combined into the weirdest, most intense fucking blowjob known to man. Everything came out of me.

subjection-s:
I briefly dated a guy who had a little bit of a meth issue.
A peculiar side effect of meth, in his case, was that he loved eating ass. For hours. Even the highest quality rimjob gets boring eventually, but he was SO into it, it felt wrong to ask him to stop.

spiderlanewales:
A girl once gave my hip bone a hickey. Apparently some girls are really into hip bones, and it’s a thing that can be “perfect,” like how girls say guys can have a perfect jaw line and whatnot. It gave me zero gratification, but I mean, whatever.
The weirdest one I DID stop was when a girl wanted to “play with my prostate.” She proceeded to put on a latex glove, lube up, and shove two fingers up my ass. She hit something, and immediately I jumped off of her hand, ran to the bathroom and explosively shat. NEVER again.

arcadian1911:
My wife for whatever reason likes to put the tip of her finger inside my foreskin and just leave it there while we watch TV. It feels so incredibly weird and I don’t like it at all but it makes her “happy”. After a few minutes I can’t stand it anymore and tell her to stop. She giggles and pulls her finger out and is unusually happy afterwards…she also pretends my dick is an elephant trunk and my balls are the ears and makes elephant noises, which we both laugh at, then I tell her the elephant is thirsty and needs to go to the watering hole and it goes from there.

TheRomanFox:
Haven’t seen this one yet, so here it is:
A girl I was dating a few years back jiggled the lock on the bathroom door while I was dropping a deuce, let herself into the room and shut the door behind her, and asked if she could suck my dick while I took a shit because she’d always wanted to try that.
Of course I said yes, but it was pretty awkward pushing out turds, hearing them splash into the bowl, with a girl between my legs going to town and knowing she had to be able to smell poop but didn’t care. Pretty good otherwise.
TL;DR I unlocked the famed “Blumpkin” achievement without having to ask for it.

Krisln08:
Told the guy I was on my period, said he didn’t care. He started pulling down my PJ’s when I told him I had a tampon in. He said oh that’s fine, proceeded to pull out my tampon with his teeth then go down on me.

A-Turd-Burglar:
Continuous raspberries on my stomach, and a handjob. The combination made me fart and cum at the same.

darkscottishloch:
Not extraordinarily weird, but a few months ago we tried the female condom to shake things up a bit. It felt like someone was trying to shove a sandwich bag into my lady garden.

A_Bus_Fulla_Nunz:
Well, I was incredibly skeptical, but my ex-gf said she wanted to eat those ridiculous rock candy thinks, like pop rocks but less intense, and then blow me, because tingles right? I informed her it was a terrible idea, but she promised she’d let me do whatever I wanted after so I was all in. Anyway time comes and she goes to town, when all of a sudden -POP- massive fucking pop rock comes down on the tip of my dick and explodes like a God damn firecracker. I yelled something along the lines of “YEEOWWWW FUCK THAT, BITCH WHY” and jumped up, making her choke and bite my dick. Worst blow job ever.
TL;DR: Pop-rock blow job dick chomp. Not fun.

spockofthewalk:
I don’t know what it was called but I named it milk the cow. My girlfriend at the time was training to be a massage therapist and had me get on all fours while she lubed up her hands and my d**k. Then from behind she vigorously went hand over hand stroking down while I yelled out ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.

picksandchooses:
We manicured each other’s crotches.
I had fun doing hers. I was wide-eyed terrified when she was doing mine.

_stem_ 1584:
He asked me if he could wash my body and shampoo my hair. A little odd but nothing I was against. He then refused to let me dry myself, had me lie on the bed, and attempted a reverse birth. Put his head against me and pushed REALLY hard and for a significant amount of time. I was… confused. About half an hour later he asked me to put my head on his lap and proceeded to tell me children’s stories entirely in Russian. A language I don’t speak. At all.

lokigodofchaos:
Not to odd, but an ex of mine was into getting tied up. She wanted to tie me up once, so I let her. She tied my hands to the bedpost and my feet were tied together at my ankles. She started off teasing, making me eat her out, and then started riding me. At this point though my short attention span kicked in. Because of how I was tied we could only really do cowgirl or reverse cowgirl. My hands were tied, so I was just laying there. When she switched to reverse cowgirl I decided to pretend I was in an action movie and escape my bonds. She wasn’t very good at knot tying apparently because I got out pretty fast. Then I startled her by sitting up and grabbing her.

fuckyou_dumbass:
Once a girl started licking my neck. Which was fine…then she moved on to my chin, which was a little weird, then she started licking all over my face.

jacobjacobb:
My girlfriend really likes pizza pizza creamy garlic sauce. She was eating a pizza and wanted to suck my d**k, so she just dipped it in the dip and went at it. After we had sex and she just kept eating her pizza. To her credit we were both really drunk but damn does that girl love pizza.

Tags: funny, grappig, seks-ervaringen